“Remember this, for it is as true as true gets: Your body is not a lemon. You are not a machine. The Creator is not a careless mechanic. Human female bodies have the same potential to give birth well as aardvarks, lions, rhinoceri, elephants, moose, and water buffalo. Even if it has not been your habit throughout your life so far, I recommend that you learn to think positively about your body.” - Ina May Gaskin, CPM, Midwife Advocate and Author
I enjoyed being pregnant. People constantly commented on the cute baby bump, my outfits, the ‘pregnancy glow’. I didn’t even mind the random women coming up to me and feeling my protruding belly, loudly exclaiming, ‘Ah! When are you due?! Do you know what you’re having?’ One other question always made me smile, because I knew the reaction I would receive. ‘What hospital are you going to?’ When I explained that I was having a water birth in my mother’s living room with a midwife present, the smiles quickly faded. Blank stares usually ensued, followed by a frank ‘Wow, you are really brave. Good luck…’
This idea of bravery humored me because I didn't feel brave. In fact, I didn't even feel the need to be brave. I felt excited. I felt a little nervous, sure. But most importantly, I felt confident. I trusted the body that God created me in.
How did I feel this confidence amidst society's attitude of labor? If you watch any tv show or movie with a birth scene, it's easy to understand why people question my sense of confidence. But this confidence grew from hours and hours of reading books, looking through blogs, and watching documentaries on birth. I spent time and effort reading about the progression, the different options, and the controversies surrounding pregnancy and labor. After all, it was the most important event in my life thus far! From all my studying, I had learned that labor was beautiful, normal and natural. I had the power to grow this baby for 40 weeks, and that power and instinct would follow me through delivery and on into motherhood.
How did I feel this confidence amidst society's attitude of labor? If you watch any tv show or movie with a birth scene, it's easy to understand why people question my sense of confidence. But this confidence grew from hours and hours of reading books, looking through blogs, and watching documentaries on birth. I spent time and effort reading about the progression, the different options, and the controversies surrounding pregnancy and labor. After all, it was the most important event in my life thus far! From all my studying, I had learned that labor was beautiful, normal and natural. I had the power to grow this baby for 40 weeks, and that power and instinct would follow me through delivery and on into motherhood.
In fact, as my eyes opened up further to the problems in America’s maternity care, I couldn’t help but feel that women who had hospital births were the brave ones. I gave birth at my mother’s home, in the calming water of a birthing pool. I didn’t have to be strapped to a bed with an IV. I could eat what I wanted, move when I wanted, and see who I wanted. Peaceful and comfortable—as it should be.
I went into labor on a Saturday afternoon. Contractions were intense, but bearable. I tried not to get too excited in case of a false alarm, but as evening drew near, contractions became more powerful, and I had no doubt that this was the real thing. I called our midwife, Bethany, and she instructed me to sleep as much as I could, and to call her again if the contractions became much longer and closer together.
I tried to sleep. My muscles were hard at work, and relaxation seemed impossible. I woke up David so we could begin the Bradley Method techniques that we had practiced. Each time a contraction came, David encouraged me and helped me relax. He rubbed my shoulders, gave me water, and put pressure on my lower back. Whatever I needed, he was there, intimately involved. He was my labor coach!
This went on the entire night.
At 6 a.m., we called Bethany and informed her of my progress through the night. By this time, David had helped me outside and into my mother’s hot tub. It was a beautiful June morning. The sun was casting the perfect morning glow, the birds were singing, and all the plants were in full bloom in the back yard. The warm water felt amazing on my stomach. My spirits were lifted. I can do this, I thought.
At 8 am, Bethany arrived and checked my status—4 cm. The next few hours were a blur. I moved here and there. I lay down, I stood up. I sat in the hot tub. I tried to eat—I threw up.
It was 11:45 am, and I was lying in bed, David at my side, when something changed. The contractions were no longer only intense cramps, but a force that shook my whole body. An overwhelming desire to push came over me with each contraction. Before David could even call Bethany into the room, a contraction came on so powerfully that my water broke, right there in bed.
I thought I had to use the toilet, so David helped me into the bathroom. False alarm. Instead, the toilet became a seat through two more contractions. Bethany decided it was time to check me again, but contractions were so close together that I couldn’t make it to the bed to get checked. So I lie right there on the bathroom floor as she exclaimed that I was fully dilated! Finally!
David and Bethany walked me to the living room, where the birthing pool was filled and ready for my arrival. I eased into the warm, calm water and felt a renewed sense of energy. The pain from the contractions had gone away, replaced by an intense pressure.
I sat in the water while David faced me from outside the pool. With each wave of pressure, David grabbed my hands and helped pull me up into a squat. I took two relaxing breaths, and on the third one, I would hold my breath and push with all my might! Then David would carefully set me back down into a sitting position. After about twenty minutes, I suddenly felt something shift. Bethany reached into the water and told me the best news ever. The baby was crowning! She told me to reach down and feel my baby’s head, and I did. He was so close! Two more pushes freed his head. David began to weep. “He has hair! Whitney, he has hair!” One more gentle push and baby was out!
Bethany and David jointly picked him up out of the water and placed him on my chest. I looked down at the most beautiful face I had ever seen—I was instantly in love. And the feeling! Oh, the feeling of him and I, skin to skin, in the warm water. I wanted to stay there forever.
Jaythan Maddox Fuller came into the world at 9 lbs 8 oz and was 21 ½ inches long. TWO WEEKS LATE! He was ready to leave the confines of my stomach and stretch out that big body!
The next few hours consisted of family and friends coming over to meet Jaythan. Everyone was amazed that I was up walking around. But I felt great! I had just given birth naturally to a healthy baby boy. Everything about the day was beautiful. It’s something I will cherish and remember forever.
Birth is an amazing phenomenon. It’s meant to be experienced, and it saddens me that so many women have been persuaded to choose the drugs or the surgery, just so they can not experience it. Media has given birth a gross misrepresentation. Birth is not pain that requires an epidural, nor is it an illness that requires a surgeon. The times when those are needed are exceptions, not the rule. I am so glad that these interventions exist. They have saved countless mothers and infants. But they are overused, simply because so many women have been convinced that it is a pain to be afraid of; a complication that you need to be saved from. It doesn't have to be like that. Birth is an adventure. It’s exhilarating and intense, miraculous and beautiful. And, as I realized on that June day, birth is completely natural and instinctive.
thanks to Karilyn Sanders at wonderland-photo.com for the documentation of that beautiful day!
